My hens have always been homebodies…. foraging in the  yard all day…staying by their protector — our dog, Zoe. She protects them from chicken hawks and foxes. I see hawks and foxes often but they stay away from our place because of sweet Zoe.

On a very rare occasion, the hens decided to go on a trip. Did they feel cooped up? Maybe they wanted an adventure? This was very uncharacteristic of them. I interviewed the hens about their travels. The hens (a Plymouth Barred Rock and a Rhode Island Red) are named Artemoula and Constantina.

What inspired you to leave the yard?….and go on this trip?

We felt cooped up. Even though we are free range chickens, we spend a lot of time roosting and nesting in the coop to lay our eggs and sleep there, too. Sometimes, we feel like we need a break from all this work, work, work. We felt ova- worked; you know;  the American work ethic. The stress was starting to show. (see tiny egg?) That’s from STRESS.

We just felt like exploring one day so we went on a trip over to the neighbor’s yard. We wanted to see if the grass is really greener on the other side.

What did you learn about yourself over there?

That the neighbor’s yard is interesting and different but we missed the comforts of home. You always feed us chicken feed, grains, oyster shell, yogurt and your husband even feeds us, too. The neighbor not only didn’t feed us, but she came and knocked on your door to let you know that we had snuck over to her house.

What was your trip route and itinerary like?

Well, we departed from the east side of the lot and did a layover in the gardenia bushes. I like to take a dust bath there in the dirt.

It helps keep the mites away. I wanted to look good for my trip. Then, we spent some time in the red tipped photinia bushes. When we got very daring, we decided to squeeze through the fence to see what happens when you cross the border.

Do you have any recommendations on excursions, lodging or meals?

We think the neighbor’s tiered landscaping looks good. You might try looking into some exterior improvements. Their electronic garage door opener is groovy. The worms in that yard were pretty good but the worms in our yard are 5 star. You have vegetables and herbs, too…and grapes. They only had florals.

Any spa recommendations?

We didn’t stay long enough to do any spa services. Your pedicures are the best anyway. And we love how you feed us Fage or Yoplait yogurt.  The chicken scratch with oyster shell for our nutrients is truly gourmet.

How was the security?

Very good. The neighbors have a dog, too.  Our dog is always hanging with us, protecting us….all over the yard.

Was there a pool?

Yes, there was a pool. We like sunbathing on your sun deck, though. We just copy you.

How did your travels over to the neighbor’s yard enrich you spiritually and mentally?

We learned to appreciate the coop above our heads and the familiarity of family. I really need to get my talons pedicured again, anyway and I missed all those cute kids that keep coming over to see your sons. It’s fun to travel but it taught us that there’s no place like home.